The waiting is the hardest part

As I sit in the waiting area and attempt to maintain my composure as a multitude of thoughts are racing thru my mind, I can’t help but silently beg… beg to god, beg to a higher power, beg to whomever it was that perhaps had some sorta power over the outcome of James surgery.

“Please let him be ok. Please don’t take another person I love away from me again. Please let him make it thru this with the best outcome, he’s been thru so much.. he’s such a great person, please let it all be ok.”

I can remember sitting there, minutes seemed like hours, hours seemed like weeks the only thing keeping my soul calm and intact was Derek. Hearing stories of James younger years helped me more than Derek realized. I also spoke to an older gal who’s husband was having quadruple bypass surgery at the same time as James, she was in good spirits.

5 hours into a “5-7” hour surgery with no news from the OR. Somehow, everything seemed to be going good with the world at this moment. I took a breath…it was almost like James kissed me on the forehead, as he does. I let out a sigh, a feeling had come over me just then, James was ok. Everything went well I can feel him calming my spirit as he does. We are safe.

I turned to Derek…

“Hey wanna make a bet?” I said

“Sure why not” Derek responded with a curious look

“We are 5 hours into this now, best case scenario means they will be finishing up soon if all went great. I bet Superman wins again and he knocked this one outta the park and someone will be heading in here soon to tell us the good news”

“How much we betting?” Derek asked

We both say “$5” laugh and shake on it.

A few seconds later a man walks in to the room. Derek looks at me in disbelief. I smile.

“Oops wrong room” he says and walks out

We both laugh.

A few minutes later another man walks into the room. It’s Dan, James good friend. He sits with us for a few minutes, we tell him it’s been just about 5 hours now and no news, which they had told us we won’t hear anything till they have completed the major portion of the surgery and are beginning to close him back up.

A few minutes pass and the volunteer lady comes in

“Are you all with this gal” (pointing at me) they say yes. She proceeds to tell us they have finished the main part of surgery, James is doing great and will be moving to icu once they close everything up.”

Tears of relief and a crisp $5 bill in my hand! Derek won’t be betting me anymore! At least we can find humor in this, James would approve.

Another hour goes by and the surgeon comes in and tells us that the surgery couldn’t have went better. Textbook. James kept his own valve, his aortic root, ascending and part of the arch was replaced. He is doing great. I thanked him with every ounce in my being that moment. My heart soared with relief. I can’t wait to see him, kiss him and tell him we did it! Everything was ok! I know the road from here to full recovery is going to be long but I know my guy, he can do this, we will do this, together!

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